Kuribo64 has been going for 6.5 years, and it's not been perfect. far from it.
over the time I have evolved and become a lot more chill about things than in 2012, for example.
I remember how I dealt with things back then, with the SMG2.5 drama, etc. I was too strict, lacking patience and good communication, dealing with trouble by repression... for example, looking back at shitfests that happened with NWPlayer123 or MoreCowbell, maybe those could have been resolved with better communication from cosmological and me. decisions we took, we thought were for the good of the SMG2.5 project, but those were ultimately seen as arbitrary decisions enforced by an external entity. better communication could have made them look more legitimate in the eyes of the community.
similarly, a lot of things were forced on the community, etc.
I'm not even getting into RVLution because oh god the shitshow, and admittedly on several occasions I was mostly there to troll the board.
anyway, the relationship I had with the community was adversarial, I perceived that I had to stay adamant about things or people would see a weakness and try to exploit it for their own gains.
I am hereby apologizing to the community for all that.
2016 was when I moved out of the shithole (parents' home, golden prison, etc). a couple months later I was struggling with job hunting (ahzsdjffsdkfg) and finding r/LateStageCapitalism, and, from there, militant media. so, surprise, I turned anticapitalist, and that's a point of no return.
I joined the local militant scene and learned a lot of things, about myself, the world, ways to run things other than "one decides for all", and so on.
I don't like how this board has been run so far.
I want it to be our community, our board. as such, I'm going to propose ideas for how we can make this happen. obviously, there would still be a staff with actual power, because I can't just hand admin power to everybody, and besides I'm the one who owns the server and maintains the board codebase. but we can give a lot more decisional power to the userbase, and also more customization to the board and all.
coming back to the latest events:
I have to apologize for it. and, of course, Gimzie is unbanned now. this is another case of an issue that could have been resolved with better communication.
I was in a shitty mood, which resulted from several irl factors. a shitty carnival, all internship plans flaking on me while the neolib GJ
counselors are pressuring me (I'm already past due), ass-shitting bills popping up and pushing my bank account ~100€ into the negative, all of that already took its toll on my mood. it eventually culminated into an argument with comrades over something silly because they turned out to be in a shitty mood too.
(and, you guess, when there's an argument with me, you don't want to be the other side)
I ended up feeling pretty bad and crying for the umpteenth time.
I struggle with debilitating depression because I worry about my immediate future and there are days I feel hopeless. there are times my mood is going to be utterly shitty.
me getting angry about the gofundme on Twitter was a reflection of that. the immediate financial trouble made me panic. it's better now, I poured all my paypal fund into my bank account and it's finally positive again. but it's not even 30€. what if I get some shitty bill again? what if I need to order HRT and I can't? what if I need to pay laser hair removal and I can't? it takes so long to get an appointment, I don't want to have to cancel one. I'm supposed to get the GJ income around the 15th, but what if I don't? what if those neolib shitbags decided to kick me out because I didn't meet the objective and all they know is repression? you know how these things go. the debt spiral eventually leads in the streets or in prison, and both are a point of no return.
capitalism must die.
but regardless, revolution isn't happening tomorrow, so we need to survive in the meantime.
needless to say, I felt much better after the yellow vest protest yesterday.
it upsets me to no end to see people get offended at shows of anger and hopelessness from the precarious like myself, without even attempting to understand us and what's angering us. systemic violence is a thing.
regardless. my apologies for that shitshow. I should know better.
I hope Gimzie understood why his posts were offensive.
I'm going to unblock him on Twitter later, too.
back to how we can run this little board together, in a more horizontal fashion. I'm going to throw a bunch of ideas.
I wonder how much of it is worth the trouble given the activity levels. but, the responses to the closure proposal have inspired me to keep this board up and running. I can still afford to maintain it, and it isn't getting invaded by spambots, so there's no immediate reason to close it. also, it's reached a point where there is barely any moderation work to be done, unless there are shitshows I haven't seen because I don't read everything.
anyway, the ideas.
* 'staff forum' for users. it would be restricted to logged-in users who are not banned. everybody could take part into board decisions this way. user problems could be discussed there, without talking behind people's backs, and having an actual debate instead of one-sided decision.
* other ways to get the masses more directly involved into moderation? I don't want to give too much power to normal users though, as that includes anybody who registers here.
* letting users upload their own theme to the board, with static CSS and images. having the theme be either their own theme or show up in the theme list for everybody. I'd have to research the security implications to this, though.
* completely customizable post sidebars, full-post layouts? not too sure about that one, but eh.
* any other ideas you can think of, too.
the most fruity DS emulator there is