Oh, my Dad is doing his best too, I'm certain. But his own arrogance of ignorance has hurt me, and I didn't realize it until I'm 20 and it has hurt my trust on him a lot. He's not going to try righting his wrongs; he has never seen a therapist, not even an attempt, and he even distrusts the field of psychology. This is further exemplified on his personal attacks on my mental abilities, which are obviously ignorant, false and off-base, but when he's imposing over you (I'm only 5'1'' and weigh 90ish pounds) and he's the one with the financial and physical power, you're helpless, you take it all in because Dad said "it's the truth", and you have to hide in your room, have angry, anguishing, self-hating, Dad-hating, life-hating, and sob into the night. At the point where I hurt myself, I reached my breaking point after days like this.

I know it doesn't, but I thought those were my expectations and I couldn't have thought otherwise. Which is why I even hurt myself because I thought I'm a failure even to myself for not trying harder to drive or get a job. Procrastinating.

I still resent my dad even though I love him. He's a good person in the end, but just a bad parent.