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03-29-24 02:11 PM
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0 users reading EarthBound Screenplay WIP [2nd draft finished!] | 1 bot

Main - General Chat - EarthBound Screenplay WIP [2nd draft finished!] Hide post layouts | New reply


Agent000
Posted on 07-14-13 10:07 PM (rev. 7 of 08-13-13 11:57 PM) Link | #28026
The full first draft of my EarthBound-based screenplay is finished! Read plz c:

Wheeeee link

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|AgentSplaturn| if someone uses an external hard disk to store porn on
|AgentSplaturn| is it their sex drive? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
|skyluigi| agent that's one of the best quotes I've ever seen on this IRC

shibboleet
Posted on 07-15-13 12:59 AM Link | #28031
Looks gerd so far ;)

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Tahcryon
Posted on 07-15-13 04:43 AM Link | #28039
16 pages and counter, and it also looks pretty nice and interesting.

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[04/15/2018]gridatttack: I still think the whole smg2.5 team are still in middle school lol
[04/15/2018]gridatttack: and they are 14yrs old
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cosmological: There's no one in Russia who doesn't agree with Putin, probably because his ideas are that great



Agent000
Posted on 07-16-13 02:19 AM Link | #28116
Added quite a bit, so give it a read again! Follow the same link. Also, I added some new scenes near the beginning so don't just skip down to where you left off please :)

Also any specific feedback is appreciated.

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[image]
[image]
|AgentSplaturn| if someone uses an external hard disk to store porn on
|AgentSplaturn| is it their sex drive? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
|skyluigi| agent that's one of the best quotes I've ever seen on this IRC

MK7tester
Posted on 07-17-13 03:11 AM (rev. 2 of 07-17-13 03:11 AM) Link | #28260
You have gotten a little addicted to earthbound, but the writing is good :D No issues here.

TheJeli
Posted on 07-17-13 09:23 AM Link | #28296
Someone needs to start a kickstarter...

Agent000
Posted on 07-17-13 08:50 PM Link | #28353
No, I would need permission from Nintendo to actually make a movie. And for the moment at least I doubt they'll give it.

There are a couple other screenplays based on the game that I've read, but I went ahead and wrote my own because of a few things:
- One had just mediocre writing.
- The other was too dark and gritty in my opinion, and also in my opinion didn't handle Ness and Paula's relationship well.
- Both were much too perfectly loyal to the details of the game, which caused the pacing to be off, there to be a bunch of things that could be removed entirely, and restricted a lot of dialogue to strictly exposition to keep the movie a reasonable length.

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[image]
[image]
|AgentSplaturn| if someone uses an external hard disk to store porn on
|AgentSplaturn| is it their sex drive? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
|skyluigi| agent that's one of the best quotes I've ever seen on this IRC

Agent000
Posted on 07-20-13 01:30 AM Link | #28595
Yaaaaaay wrote up a newer draft! It's about 13 pages longer, going up to the point where they leave for Fourside with the Runaway Five. The link in the first post has been updated.

Again, I'd really appreciate feedback c:

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[image]
[image]
|AgentSplaturn| if someone uses an external hard disk to store porn on
|AgentSplaturn| is it their sex drive? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
|skyluigi| agent that's one of the best quotes I've ever seen on this IRC

Agent000
Posted on 07-21-13 06:32 AM Link | #28663
Another new draft! Continued the story up to Saturn Valley. Updated link in first post.

I'd reeeeaaaaaally like some feedback .___.

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[image]
[image]
|AgentSplaturn| if someone uses an external hard disk to store porn on
|AgentSplaturn| is it their sex drive? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
|skyluigi| agent that's one of the best quotes I've ever seen on this IRC

MK7tester
Posted on 07-21-13 06:47 AM Link | #28664
Is Ness's last name really sandhop? O.O

Agent000
Posted on 07-21-13 02:41 PM Link | #28683
Yes. Every name I've used except are the original names from the game. Well, except for Gangster Jim. I gave him that name xP
And the pilot that fires on the bus. That part was never in the game.

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[image]
[image]
|AgentSplaturn| if someone uses an external hard disk to store porn on
|AgentSplaturn| is it their sex drive? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
|skyluigi| agent that's one of the best quotes I've ever seen on this IRC

Agent000
Posted on 07-29-13 01:58 AM (rev. 2 of 07-29-13 06:14 PM) Link | #29226
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay the first full draft is done! :D

...

Someone read it plz ;-;

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[image]
[image]
|AgentSplaturn| if someone uses an external hard disk to store porn on
|AgentSplaturn| is it their sex drive? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
|skyluigi| agent that's one of the best quotes I've ever seen on this IRC

shibboleet
Posted on 07-29-13 07:33 PM Link | #29265
I did. :3
It actually still looks pretty nice o,o

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a

TheJeli
Posted on 08-03-13 12:20 PM Link | #29492
Have you posted this elsewhere? Like here: http://forum.starmen.net/forum. Try posting it on a screenplay forum too so you can get some professional feedback.

MK7tester
Posted on 08-03-13 01:13 PM Link | #29497
Yeah and there's probably a lot more Earthbound fans over there.

Agent000
Posted on 08-06-13 07:57 PM Link | #29651
The first draft is done but I don't think it's there yet. Expect some major changes and additions in the next revision!

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[image]
[image]
|AgentSplaturn| if someone uses an external hard disk to store porn on
|AgentSplaturn| is it their sex drive? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
|skyluigi| agent that's one of the best quotes I've ever seen on this IRC

Agent000
Posted on 08-13-13 11:58 PM Link | #30195
Now the second draft is done! :D

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[image]
[image]
|AgentSplaturn| if someone uses an external hard disk to store porn on
|AgentSplaturn| is it their sex drive? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
|skyluigi| agent that's one of the best quotes I've ever seen on this IRC


Main - General Chat - EarthBound Screenplay WIP [2nd draft finished!] Hide post layouts | New reply

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