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04-09-20 07:19 PM

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Main - General Chat - Teh Program New reply

Posted on 10-01-18 07:09 AM Link | #96066
what is it

a program to help young folks who are utterly lost (like me) to find jobs, internships, housing, etc and generally fit the mold

also, the remains of our Welfare State™

what is it not

a cheap way to get money.

although admittedly I'm partly in for that money, but eh.

when does the adventure begin?

today, during night this morning. DO NOT BE LATE YOU FUCKER.

anyway, quick rundown of this first morning of adventure:

a majority of the people attending this are racial minorities.

after a little shitshow regarding finding where I go out of the 4 possible rooms, I'm in.

cue long speech about how we are not required to be here, etc... because apparently some idiot was 'forced' by their counselor to follow this program. oh well.

having to have a sheet of paper on my desk with my legal name on it in big font. (not calling it deadname because... yeah)

(noting that the people around me are not people I want to be out to)

the two counselors go on about what the whole program is about, what we can do, etc... long, boring. doesn't help that they're constantly complaining about how we're not asking enough questions to their taste, either. or judging us for not knowing who someone is, those things.

there are signs on teh walls that say 'no judgement', 'respect', 'confidence', etc...

haha, so much for that.

I don't feel too good. doesn't help that they cranked the heat to the max, either.

ends at 11:03.

then they take us on a little tour through the building. incl. kitchen.

"so here you have a coffee machine and a microwave... and I see noone cares"

nah. it's just that I already know what those look like and what they do.

will have to go back there soon (14:00) to sign the contract etc.

how the program will go

first month is the extensive training (ie back to school).

aside from that, report back every 3 months. they expect that you do a given amount of internship at least for every 3mo period. I think it was 20h/mo...?

zaaaarg. wish me luck there.

I will try to report regularly.

NSMBHD - Kafuka - Jul
melonDS the most fruity DS emulator there is


Posted on 10-01-18 10:58 AM (rev. 2 of 10-01-18 10:59 AM) Link | #96067
day one

I barely know the people there, but... yeah. let's see.

but first, we need to name our characters, so the story isn't a total shitshow that nobody can understand.

so, the counselors, we'll name them K and D.

the candidates, 20 fine persons aged under 26, including:

• your overlord (dur)
• Derp
• Y
• Ghost
• the others.

Derp has already earned his name by showing to be a complete fucking idiot, mostly laughing at whatever crap like an idiot, but... yeah.

Y is a guy I did some shito with (because it had to be done in pairs), so far he seems decent.

said work is the typical "interview your mate and introduce them etc" game thing.

Ghost is the person who didn't show up, causing us to be 19, which was a bit of a problem when doing the aforementioned work. but heh, they worked around it.

anyway, some fucking shitplated gold, when we were given paperwork to fill and sign.

<K> this paper is for when the program is completed. you don't put in an address because you can't be sure that it'll be the same one at that point.
<K> you can also not fill in the sex field, in case that changes too. we've had that happen...

<Derp> ahahaha what a question! (laughing off the idea of sex change. hey, idiot, what if I told you that you were sitting next to a trans person? oh wait no, you would call them crossdressing weirdos. you don't have the required intelligence to envision the concept of transgenderism)

(or maybe just expressing, in an egotistical way, that your gender identity is crystal clear? well good for you.)

well. we're in for one month of this shit, I guess.

one day in and I already want to throw someone under a bus. blarg

hope of actually getting anywhere with this: 3%

NSMBHD - Kafuka - Jul
melonDS the most fruity DS emulator there is


Baby Luigi
Posted on 10-01-18 09:36 PM Link | #96077
You always make stories more amusing than they're supposed to be.

Posted on 10-02-18 09:59 AM Link | #96083

anyway, day two

I had cool dreams but I don't remember them :/

the option of staying under the warm blanket is appealing, but eh, have to go do the shito.

starts with D greeting us with more attention-deficit-ish antics. she said she needs a lot of positiveness, so I guess she was expecting a big warm greeting, which she kinda didn't get.

K was mostly not there during this.

so we continued that cross-introduction shito by, you know, actually speaking it out. we started with mine and my mate's, which were rather lame.

then again, getting to know people is something that takes time and can't be reduced to what is basically police examination. a lot of the things D insisted upon (diplomas, etc) are really not what defines a person wholly, if not meaningless. but... yeah.

words of wisdom by your overlord™

also, Derp wasn't there. not too surprising.

the break is where I have a chat with Y and other fine folks, which I will have to name eventually. anyway, we talk about what we do in life, where we come from, etc...

which is where I come out to them.

reactions are overall good. they don't really know what it's all about (mixing it up with intersexness) so I explain them. what this is about, the hormones, etc...

I'm even getting unexpected validation out of it (like, I'm told that my face looks androgynous, or that my jawline is nice, when I thought it screamed male), which is like, cool! that boosted my mood.

(now if my voice wasn't total shit)

they also like my hair, which is a common theme among people around me :P

fast forward to afternoon. we get on the computers to do some shito on their web portal thing.

quickly inspecting the computer: 547 different antivirus/etc programs running. heh. also, those killjoys deleted the Windows games. file extensions hidden by default, says a lot about what we're dealing with.

(for reference: K and D are big on the "slacking off at a work is wasting the company's money" shit)

we get on the portal. flashback to school and their shitty login systems: "your username is the first letter of your first name and your last name. your password is your first name". atleast you can change the password.

doesn't work. can't login. trying a few other possiblities (my legal name has an accented character, etc) as K wasn't very clear. but, nope. seems nobody is able to login.

so, for a while, topnotch computer skillz at work. K fixes the logins by hand, or something. we're also told to try closing the page and reopening it, try using IE instead of Firefox, rotate the computer so it faces Venus, ... eventually, we're able to login.

which is also where Derp arrives, being a total derp as usual. I delight as K calls him out.

so what do we do there?

* change password. dur

* customize avatar. amusingly, the default avatar is a girl. I turn mine into another girl that is closer to my looks, but they don't have curly hair that looks like mine.

* fill in paperwork that you already filled in physically, but you also fill it in via the computer, because we have a totally technological system with computers!

* fill in self-evaluation shito. which I did half-heartedly.

* declare your income. I have yet to see how that works in practice because I don't understand well how it works.

anyway, to end this report, here's the StapleGirl avatar.

NSMBHD - Kafuka - Jul
melonDS the most fruity DS emulator there is


Posted on 10-04-18 11:55 AM Link | #96096
Cute pic. Also the "throwing Derp under a bus" thing instantly brought back memories of you saying that in 2014 to me lol

Anyhow, hope this goes oki for you at least, i don't particularly understand it myself completely yet but really happy to see people complimenting you :)

Posted on 10-04-18 12:44 PM Link | #96100
day three was mostly uneventful, minus Derp causing minor trouble and being a derp.

day four was nice and short.

also, more random validation.

like, I park my bike, and walk towards the building. I greet K, walk past. then, he asks me how old I am. apparently, I don't look like I'm 24.

also yesterday at late night, when I went out to check my bike brakes, there was that group of random derpos which I heard wonder what my gender is

(the brakes were fixed this morning, nothing bad)

well guess I landed in some androgynous/confusing zone

NSMBHD - Kafuka - Jul
melonDS the most fruity DS emulator there is


Posted on 12-05-18 09:11 AM Link | #96577
I ought to give some update on this whole shit.

* my bike is crapoed.

* the program is useless, other than getting a temporary income.

let's say you want them to help you find stable housing? no income, get fucked. or dial 115 and maaaaaaaaaybe receive your social apartment after a couple years of waiting (on your friend's couch or in the streets).

want help finding a job? same shit.

even moreso when they notice I am subject to depression and insist on sending me to a therapist instead of having me learn actually useful shit.

for example? "internet applications are a waste of time!" and I'm told this only now. real helpful!

* counselors are still full of neoliberal shit.

"you're doing everything to get struck!"


because "when you want you can" and "the poor are poor because they want to be".

urgl. please shove your head up your ass as far as physically possible, thank you.

they eventually tell me to "just go work for mcdonalds lol"

yeah, I totally want to spend most of my time playing a bad videogame of "fulfill client orders FASTER AND FASTER" where I'll be constantly pressured and end up lasting a few months at best.

maybe with the GJ program I hoped to get to a point that is better than barely surviving on some income-of-pity.

but no, that's not happening.

now the best I can hope for is that I don't get struck or lose this income before I turn 25 and can get the universal-basic-income-of-pity.

then survive off of that until some shitbag decides it's time to remove it.

then... ??????????????

NSMBHD - Kafuka - Jul
melonDS the most fruity DS emulator there is


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