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12-12-18 12:35 PM
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Main - General Chat - I've got a serious problem New reply

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Jamie
Posted on 10-06-17 11:21 AM Link | #90094
It honestly feels like I'm stuck in a loop... like with the whole 'billion boards' thing, and a similar amount of names. I changed my name again, it seems, and I just cannot help it. Anyone got any idea of how to help...

Ndymario
Posted on 10-06-17 11:35 AM Link | #90095
*walk away from pc*

but more seriously though, just think do you *need* to do those things before you do them

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Jamie
Posted on 10-07-17 07:44 AM Link | #90125
That's the issue. I don't tend to think things through and end up making very rash, rushed decisions.

Thierry
Posted on 10-07-17 08:53 AM Link | #90132
People don't keep telling you to get a life solely to annoy you.

Get hobbies. Get some friends. Hobbies can help you find new people. You won't need to stick to them like glue and end up mistaking it for love.
[17:45:16] IceFairyAmy: i don't want a girlfriend tbh, it'd be a waste of time

GalacticPirate
Posted on 10-07-17 09:58 AM Link | #90137
Posted by Thierry
People don't keep telling you to get a life solely to annoy you.

Get hobbies. Get some friends. Hobbies can help you find new people. You won't need to stick to them like glue and end up mistaking it for love.

Sure, friends are super easy to get, you can even get them on Amazon for a few bucks. It's certainly even easier when you have several mental problems!!!!!!!!1111...
No, it doesn't work like that.

shibboleet
Posted on 10-07-17 09:59 AM Link | #90138
he never said it was easy

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GalacticPirate
Posted on 10-07-17 10:00 AM Link | #90139
I'm 16 and still didn't manage to get any friend IRL. So when I see people telling Jamie "get a life", it triggers me :P

shibboleet
Posted on 10-07-17 10:01 AM Link | #90140
there's a difference in between trying to get friends and not trying at all and doing the same mistakes over and over again.

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a

GalacticPirate
Posted on 10-07-17 10:27 AM Link | #90143
You are assuming he isn't trying, which isn't necessarily true.

shibboleet
Posted on 10-07-17 10:29 AM (rev. 2 of 10-07-17 10:31 AM) Link | #90144
I never said he isn't trying He's doing a bit of both. Trying to make friends but gets too attached.

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a

Jamie
Posted on 10-07-17 10:42 AM Link | #90145
Posted by shibboleet
I never said he isn't trying He's doing a bit of both. Trying to make friends but gets too attached.

This. :P
Plus I'm really awkward IRL with talking to people... :(

Thierry
Posted on 10-08-17 10:51 AM Link | #90202
'course, for a loner it's not gonna be easy to get friends just like that. whoever said anything about easy?
doesn't mean he can't try anything.

for example, you can do extra activities and try talking to people while you're at it.
you can look for communities that share the same hobbies as you, as to at least have a few people to talk to.
romhacking communities are one thing, but you'll have to move on at some point.


also, the hobbies part and the "doing the same mistakes over and over again" part still stands.
you can do something else than endlessly restarting your boards. your members are gone, only the toxic nolifes will actually stick around.
[17:45:16] IceFairyAmy: i don't want a girlfriend tbh, it'd be a waste of time

Jamie
(post deleted) #90203

Isaac
Posted on 10-08-17 03:15 PM Link | #90209
What I don't understand is how people have such a problem making friends. You just find your group you "fit" in and you just hang out, after a few years or months your friends. What I did is made friends during middle/elementary and they either stuck around or left, the ones that stuck around are now my best friends. Could be easy for me cause I'm pretty easy going. dunno.
I cant wait to see some anime pussy

cros107
Posted on 10-10-17 06:45 AM Link | #90237
Posted by Isaac
You just find your group you "fit" in and you just hang out, after a few years or months your friends.


It helps if you can comfortably "hang out" with people who aren't your friends. I know I can't.

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GalacticPirate
Posted on 10-10-17 03:20 PM Link | #90246
Posted by Isaac
What I don't understand is how people have such a problem making friends. You just find your group you "fit" in and you just hang out, after a few years or months your friends. What I did is made friends during middle/elementary and they either stuck around or left, the ones that stuck around are now my best friends. Could be easy for me cause I'm pretty easy going. dunno.

Problem 1 : "finding a group"
Problem 2 "fitting in it"
Problem 3: "hanging out"

StapleButter
Posted on 10-11-17 12:42 PM (rev. 2 of 10-11-17 12:44 PM) Link | #90297
well, I'm not super successful socially either so I can't give killer advice, but:

it's like for romantic/sexual relationships. going with the goal of "making friends" is a mistake, just like that of "getting a girlfriend".

it's a mistake because you end up pressuring yourself. you constantly compare yourself to others, and end up thinking you have no chance because X or Y isn't as it should or whatever.



when I moved out, I spent the first months looking for a job, and getting depressed because it didn't get anywhere.

eventually, I joined a badminton club. it didn't make me have 500 friends, but I had good times with people, some I never met again, some I stuck around with, and playing a sport I like. and, despite still being unemployed, I felt good.

I later joined militant groups and it's been one interesting ride since then. and, more importantly, I like what we do, I feel good about myself.


so, find what makes you feel good. socialization happens as a side effect.

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RicBent
Posted on 10-11-17 02:09 PM Link | #90302

Same goes for me. I'm a total derp at being social as well.

In school I didn't have a ton of friends. I prefer being arround with very few people I know and trust a ton. Most of them vanished from my life as they study elsewhere.

At univ tho it is very easy to make friends as there are a ton of groups that do stuff. After joining the Hardware and OpenSource groups I got to know more people I feel good being together with than in my entire school life.

So yeah, "find what makes you feel good. socialization happens as a side effect".

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Jamie
Posted on 10-12-17 02:57 AM Link | #90325
Didn’t know you liked badminton Staple, I quite like it too :)

I’ll try to take your advice and perhaps join some sort of hobby-related group in my area if there are any I can think of that I am interested in :)

RicBent
Posted on 10-12-17 11:54 AM Link | #90337

Actually I have been plaing badminton since 8 years as well :)

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Main - General Chat - I've got a serious problem New reply

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