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09-22-18 09:06 PM
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Main - Relaxland - Flash forward in 2025 New reply

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StapleButter
Posted on 02-23-15 10:36 AM Link | #56743
This has been in my bio for a while now, but it'll be more fun to have it in a thread.


So, flash forward in 2025. Nintendo is releasing the 7DS. Here are the characteristics:

* comes in 4 different versions: 7DS, New 7DS, 7DSi, New 7DSi; all released one month apart, mutually incompatible
* comes in XL flavor but also XS flavor for dwarves
* battery life is around one hour; can be extended with a hugeass addon battery back (sold separately)
* usage requires registration to Nintendo's services and confirmation from your country's healthcare services that you aren't subject to seizures or other shit
* not suitable for children under 25920 hours
* comes with two autostereoscopic touchscreens, resolution 800x480
* requires permanent internet connection to send usage statistics to Nintendo to help them improve user experience (and to help the NSA improve their knowledge of you)
* game cartridge is the same shape as a DS cartridge but with 6 tabs added all around to prevent insertion in 6DS/5DS/4DS/3DS/DS models
* backwards compatible with 6DS, 5DS, 4DS, 3DS and DS (and GBA/GBC if you can hack the hardware together) even though all the 7DS models are mutually incompatible
* Android-based OS with built-in advertisement, DLC and in-game purchase support
* security: surface taser triggers if you try to disassemble the console
* oh, and weirdass W-shaped screws noone else is using
* system monitor destroys all the data and fries the CPU if it detects that the system was hacked into
* can be hooked to HDTV or projector (great for retro-themed games, looks like total shit otherwise)
* compatible with 240V, 110V and 250000V power lines and gasoline
* USB port for use with Nintendo-made extension devices (no USB sticks to export your data or keyboards to type shit more easily, fuck off)
* SD card slot, SD card is mostly worthless though (proprietary partition format encrypted and signed with per-console keys)
* can be run over by a bus and take no damage; doesn't resist your hyperactive clumsy kids more than two hours though
* RS232 extension port for compatibility with NES extension devices, even though none of them work anymore by now
* comes with New Super Mario Bros 8; goal is to rescue Princess Peach again, levels require an increasing number of coins to be played, coins can be acquired ingame or bought via the eShop
* comes with Radeon X1950Pro GPU
* can be customized by expensive backplates (and the backplates break if run over by a bus)
* can also be customized by themes but they have to be bought. Free themes are available but they include ads.
* Facebook integration: in-system Facebook chat, games post on Facebook when you unlock achievements



Imagine 2025 with us!

____________________
NSMBHD - Kafuka - Jul

communism

Tahcryon
Posted on 02-23-15 10:45 AM Link | #56748
Google buys the USA, and claims to respect user's privacy.

____________________


[04/15/2018]gridatttack: I still think the whole smg2.5 team are still in middle school lol
[04/15/2018]gridatttack: and they are 14yrs old
__________

cosmological: There's no one in Russia who doesn't agree with Putin, probably because his ideas are that great



MercuryPenny
Posted on 02-23-15 11:19 AM Link | #56751
Nintendo moves to disc-based games for mobile games, but that means they break easily and scratch against the disc reader


send me your terrible userbars and such to advertize in my footer ;^)
[image]

youtube i never use

CRAWLING IN MY CRAWL THESE CRAWLS THEY WILL NOT CRAWL

Tierage
Posted on 02-23-15 02:56 PM Link | #56768
I don't think Facebook would still be relevant in 2025, though.


...Yourself

salty
Posted on 02-23-15 04:06 PM Link | #56782
Nintendo buys out Rare, and we get good games. :D

____________________
[image]
wow

SunakazeKun
Posted on 02-23-15 04:09 PM (rev. 2 of 02-23-15 04:09 PM) Link | #56783
F*ck yeah! If Rare makes games for Nintendo again I'll cry! But only if they have the quality from the N64 games.



Youtube | Github | Neo Mario Galaxy | Super Mario Galaxy & Super Mario 3D Land Modding


Nin
Posted on 02-23-15 04:12 PM Link | #56784
I will become supreme overlord of the Internet and exile all of you to Asia.

salty
Posted on 02-23-15 04:14 PM Link | #56786
no

There will be flying cars powered by the sun, and we can go back to the past.

____________________
[image]
wow

StapleButter
Posted on 02-23-15 04:38 PM Link | #56792
Posted by saltypepper
Nintendo buys out Rare, and we get good games. :D

Posted by SunakazeKun
F*ck yeah! If Rare makes games for Nintendo again I'll cry! But only if they have the quality from the N64 games.

Posted by saltypepper
no

There will be flying cars powered by the sun, and we can go back to the past.

All very optimistic visions. Especially considering the way the world is going.



I really want to see how they will power cars, though. We can't keep running on gasoline forever. Sun is nice but you have to be in a sunny place. And besides, making lithium batteries has a bad impact on the environment too, so going all electric isn't the solution unless you have a permanent power source and don't need batteries.

And I kinda think that we went too far with those cars. They need to look into wormholes or some form of teleportation.

____________________
NSMBHD - Kafuka - Jul

communism

Degolegodyl
Posted on 02-23-15 04:52 PM Link | #56795
Batteries are improved so they can hold more power in less volume. Cellphones are no more, now everyone uses technology impregnated in the skin and eyes.

StapleButter
Posted on 02-23-15 04:53 PM Link | #56796
As nice and futuristic as that sounds, I'd rather they don't implant shit in my body.

____________________
NSMBHD - Kafuka - Jul

communism

Gmanextreme9
Posted on 02-23-15 05:23 PM Link | #56797
I meant to tell you StapleButter that I loved that part of your bio but never got around to it. :P Also, I kinda disagree with the whole implant idea. There's just too much I could see going wrong with that. I personally think that in the future we will keep advancing in technology (Not in the ways depicted in movies and such with flying cars and stuff like that) and society will keep getting worse like it has been for a long while now.

____________________
You can tell I'm testing new avatars.

Status: Totally didn't change this, nothing to see here.


Tierage
Posted on 02-23-15 05:58 PM Link | #56798
I think by 2025 everything will be mobile. Desktop computers and laptops will probably still be around, but using a mobile device for everything will probably be the primary device.

Well, that is what today is showing paved ahead. I couldn't imagine trying to draw, model, program, make music, edit videos, or really anything other than read and socialize on a phone. Maybe a tablet, though.


...Yourself

Stygmax
Posted on 02-23-15 06:29 PM Link | #56799
Genetic modification of humans is being pioneered to great opposition around the globe. However, it continues unimpeded, being funded by key wealthy figures and organizations.
Status: It was really, really fun, guys - thanks for the ride!

StapleButter
Posted on 02-23-15 06:48 PM Link | #56804
All the human beings are the same.

Like in that book, 'Un bonheur insoutenable', dunno what's the title in English if it's been translated at all.

____________________
NSMBHD - Kafuka - Jul

communism

MercuryPenny
Posted on 02-23-15 06:53 PM Link | #56805
Posted by StapleButter
I really want to see how they will power cars, though. We can't keep running on gasoline forever.

Well, there's still a ton of not only oil, but there's also still a whole crapload of coal and other powersources. If we ever run out of gasoline before something happens to wipe out humanity, we can just switch to coal (granted, that causes more smoke than diesel fuel, but it would still be an option).


send me your terrible userbars and such to advertize in my footer ;^)
[image]

youtube i never use

CRAWLING IN MY CRAWL THESE CRAWLS THEY WILL NOT CRAWL

StapleButter
Posted on 02-23-15 07:00 PM Link | #56806
A rather short-sighted option, though. Survive now but be extinct 50 years later or so.

____________________
NSMBHD - Kafuka - Jul

communism

SquidEmpress
Posted on 02-25-15 11:59 PM (rev. 2 of 02-26-15 12:00 AM) Link | #56915
There can be a good future and a bad future. Let's start with the bad future first.

A nuclear World War III happened. On one side was Great Britain, France, India, Israel, and the United States, and on the other side was China, Iran, North Korea, Pakistan, and Russia. WWIII started over "some silly thing in the Middle East" as it began over the ISIS situation and it quickly escalated into nuclear war. (Whoever guesses whose quote that is based off of gets a cookie. Hint: it was a prediction of WWI.) There is no life left on the Earth. The aliens come to Earth, take a look around and say "Well, everything's dead.", and then leave.

Now for the good future.

Treeki's bitBoard 1.5, which is pretty much Acmlmboard 3.5, has just been released. The Kuribo64 and Acmlm communities have merged into one single board called Magnum64, the home of Nintendo Sleex and Nintendo 7DS hacking. Many people who were idiots like the RVlution morons are now staff members on Magnum64 since they have greatly matured. Acmlm is an owner on Magnum64 but he's rarely around and rarely ever posts.

RVlution is but a whisper spoken only by the trees. RVlution was archived a long time ago, barely anyone even remembers RVlution. Hell, the Urban Dictionary definition for "RVlution" is "a whisper spoken only by the trees". SMW Central is no more and it has been archived for a while now. As for Board2? Well, Board2 is now an RVlution as it was also archived a long time ago. In fact, Board2 and RVlution were weirdly merged before they were archived so now the archive contains users, forums, threads, posts, etc. from both Board2 and RVlution. I dunno, I think someone was high when they archived the boards. StapleButter is still here but he doesn't have much time for posting as much as he used to.

Anyway, technology has progressed to the point where there are devices that can read your mind. Unfortunately, tyrannical dictators have abused that technology to make sure people are not committing thoughtcrimes. But those dictators face economic sanctions by the United Nations anyway. There's the Nintendo 7DS along with the Apple iPhone 17, Nintendo Sleex, Microsoft Windows 14, and all that other good stuff. Nuclear fusion is becoming much more advanced and gasoline is now produced from water and carbon dioxide rather than from petroleum. Supersonic passenger jets are mainstream but if you travel in the United States, you'll have to brave the TSA's obnoxiousness. Overall, the progression on technology is pretty amazing even with the mishaps you have here and there like YouTube being even shittier than ever before and Google now owning almost everything, although Google is having to deal with growing claims of the monopoly and trust it has become.

So there you go, the bad 2025 and the good 2025.

____________________
Super Mario LOLand

Thanks to Tierage for helping to port my Acmlmboard 2.5 layout to Acmlmboard 2.064!


Tierage
Posted on 02-26-15 12:23 AM (rev. 2 of 02-26-15 12:23 AM) Link | #56916
*applauds*

word


...Yourself

SquidEmpress
Posted on 02-26-15 12:44 AM Link | #56918
I have to admit though, I made the bad future half-assed but spent more thought and time on the good future. :P I guess that's because the bad future is more straightforward whereas anything can be in the good future.

____________________
Super Mario LOLand

Thanks to Tierage for helping to port my Acmlmboard 2.5 layout to Acmlmboard 2.064!

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Main - Relaxland - Flash forward in 2025 New reply

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